The evidence is mounting, my friends. As soon as I started my blog here, I was assaulted by pictures of luscious and beautiful produce all over the front page. The government has been trying to control our diets for decades (see the failed Food Pyramid)–turning us away from cheeseburgers and pizza in favor of their so-called “healthy food.” I’ll tell you why that food is “healthy.”
Because it’s turning us all gay.
What’s the most effective way to turn a population gay? Poisoning the water? Chemtrails? Beauty and the Beast propaganda?
Those “sprinklers” you see farmers using to “water” their crops? They’re filled with gay chemicals. The government secretly mandated that all farmers had to use these on their crops. That’s why the rate of gayness has been rising dramatically in the past few years.
But InfoFighterTM, you say, nobody likes fruits or vegetables? How could this plan possibly work?
That’s where the internet comes in. The government have been secretly disseminating their heavily-photoshopped pictures of fruits and vegetables all across the web, attempting to brainwash people into eating these things, which will eventually turn them gay.
But InfoFighterTM, you say, why would they carry out this absurd, nonsensical plan to turn people gay? I’ll tell you why. The liberal party is receiving billions of dollars in donations from the fruit and vegetable lobby. They managed to kill two honest Americans with one stone–paying back their corrupt loans, and turning the population of the US gay.
So do you want to be gay? No? Then go be a real American and eat a cheeseburger. Without lettuce or tomatoes. Or onions.